Dance With Me

So if you didn't already know, my husband is currently deployed. It's nothing crazy like Afghanistan or Iraq. He's on a UDP. Don't ask me what that stands for because I have absolutely no idea. He's currently in Fuji, Japan. He has internet so iPhone to iPhone we can text and FaceTime as long as we both have internet connection. It helps, but it's still hard. He left in May and will return in November. 6 months seems long and then again it doesn't. We like to look at it as it could always be worse. The days are slow but the weeks seem to fly by. During his absense I got a puppy. She's a chihuahua schnauzer. Stella is a perfect fit for our little family and I cannot wait for Shawn to come home and meet her. She's such an awesome puppy. It helps to come home everyday to at least something. Because the first week or so of coming home to nothing was borderline torture. It's difficult being apart from someone you love so strongly. To always wonder if their heart hurts like yours does by being separated. To do all the things you normally do, alone. I miss everything about Shawn, but mostly the little things. Like looking over at him while were on the couch eating ramen noodles and watching Netflix and just feeling my heart skip a beat. To smile for no reason and not realize it while staring at him. Going to the grocery store and singing dumb songs together on the five minute drive there. His hand on my leg while driving to work. Being able to wake up in the middle of the night from a bad dream and just look over and feel so calm and content; so safe. Feeling his skin next to mine. I miss everything. But at the end of the day I just have to remember that all this will eventually end. He will eventually come home. And we can be us again. Together. I can't wait for that. I'm so excited to pick him up in November. I have such a great suprise for him. I can't spill any details right now. Not like anyone will read this blog anyway, but just in case. 

I'm not sure what the point of this post even is really. Just kinda to clear my head I guess. My thoughts are whats kill me most during this whole thing. Sometimes I cry for no reason other than I miss him. Other times I cry because it's hard knowing what all he's missing back here at home. His 22nd birthday, the Fourth of July, our 1yr wedding anniversary, his daughters 5th birthday, Halloween, my 21st birthday. All big and small things that we would have much rather spent or celebrated together. 

We've been married for about 9 1/2 months. And everyday we fall in love all over again. Even on the roughest days. Because no matter the fight, we can't go to bed mad at each other. It's a waste of a night that we should be spending in each others arms. 

Well I'm all out of thoughts I think, for now anyway. Goodnight everyone.