April 12th 2013
We got off the shuttle in Mainside on base; me, my best friend, and another kid who graduated comm school with us. Hours later a van pulled up after we had finished the first day of what would be an extensive checking in process. We rode silently to our barracks location on Camp Margarita, no one said a word. The van pulled around to the front building and standing outside we're a bunch of Marines that were in our new unit. They showed up to help is with our bags. The first person I set my eyes on as I climbed out of the hot, luggage crowded van was this skinny, average height blonde kid. He was standing off to the side with his hollister sweat pants and baby blue jacket, no shirt underneath. He was smoking a cigarette and looked very irritated that he was down there. I was in my service uniform. Dark olive green, bulky and uncomfortable. Hair in a tight, hairspray hardened sock bun. Before anyone could speak a word to us, the kid says, "Why the fuck am I even down here? There's plenty of people to help them." Nobody payed much mind to the comment, they just greeted us and helped us with our things. The kid quickly walked off and disappeared. I don't remember much else from that night except my mind being filled with his vibrant blue jacket, the way he leaned on the cement pillar, the swiftness of his motions as he smoked and proceeded to flick his cigarette. All I could think about was him. I was intrigued. I wanted to know more. I wanted to know who was the man, who had awaken my emotions like the intensity of a sudden thunder storm.
I believe that day in April was the day that changed my life.
As it turned out I wasn't the only one who's mind raced with curiosity and bewilderment. Lcpl Stevens and I clicked from the moment we spoke words to each other. We couldn't explain it other than we just, felt drawn to each other. After a couple weeks of casual conversation and being around each other at work, and spending countless moments together smoking cigarettes in the field, he kissed me. Mid conversation, he grabbed my face and kissed me. It was the first time his skin touched mine. His lips fit mine like a puzzle. So soft and warm. I saw nothing but black, my heart raced, and I didn't want it to ever end. Whatever had just happened, made me feel alive. I kept thinking, how can that have felt the way it did? I barely knew him. I didn't even know his first name! So I decided I had to pursue. I had to find out more about the man I couldn't stop thinking about. Consuming my mind day in and day out with the recollection of his lips on mine, his firm had on my face. A week after I was kissed on the rocks we all headed back to base, finally out of the field. The night before we left he made a move. Everyone was throwing their phones in the hmwvv's to charge, so as he was on his way over there I tossed him mine and told him to throw it on the charger with everyone else's, and here's the pass code incase you need it for any reason. He left, came back, we all went to bed. The next morning I ran and grabbed my phone so I could play around with it on the bus ride home. As I unlocked the screen I noticed the only running app was my contacts. I looked through them, noticing a name I had not seen before, Shawn. I though, this HAS to be him. Who else could it be? So I texted the number. And what do you know, Lcpl Shawn Stevens texted right back.
May 8th 2013
The first day we hungout. We were inseparable every night after that. Whatever we had going on, neither of us could get enough. When Shawn and I started hanging out, I could feel something weird. Not a good weird, but like, I don't know, a defensiveness weird. He was sheltered. Someone, sometime before me had hurt him. And he did everything in his power to emotionally shut himself off from everyone so that he never had to feel that hurt again. I understood that, i'd been there. We'd spend countless nights telling of our past and reliving the pain just so one another could understand and so we could move on. After a little time, a few fights, lots of tears, and endless nights wrapped up in each others arms, the walls finally came down. We had helped each other in ways we thought impossible. I showed him he could love again. He showed me what love really was.
Shawn and I were in love. We knew it. We didn't care about what anyone thought, if people said it was too soon for us to love each other. All that mattered was him, and I. I believe there is no time line, explaining the stages of love or how one falls in love. I believe that finding your better half is something that happens naturally. And once it does, you'll know. My grandmother was a Marine and my grandfather was in the Navy. They had only worked together for about 5 months and had gotten married just 5 weeks after their first date. They've been married for 43 years.
Trials and Tribulations
Shawn and I had been together for four months, we'd gone through numerous fights, tons of laughter and tears. He stood by me through every bump in the road. I can never express how grateful I was for everything he did for me.
September 30th 2013
We had talked about it before, how we knew we would grow old together. How we would be happy as long as we had each other. So, we decided to get married. We knew we were ready. We made the appointment at the courthouse for September 30th. The wedding was no longer than four minutes. But god damn, it felt like an eternity, and I wouldn't have traded that for the world. The rush of emotion and passion we felt saying I do, will forever be our favorite memory.
I love my husband. More than anyone will ever know. He can make me laugh. He can make me feel loved, comforted, safe. He wipes my tears when I cry, he tells me to grow up when I need a wake up call. He puts my needs before his own, and never makes me feel like I have failed him in any way. Shawn makes my heart swell with every brush of our skin. We're in love, but we aren't perfect. Keep that in mind. Shawn and I get annoyed with each other. We fight, we yell, we chain smoke cigarettes and avoid talking for hours. But every night, no matter the fight or problem, we work it out. Because a night spent mad at one another, or not in each others arms, is a night wasted. He tells me all the time, "what is the point of another day with you, if I don't show you the passion I did on the first day I gave you my love?" He is the light in my life. Every reason to live another day. He, is my soul mate. The man I was destined to love for the rest of my life, no matter what.
I'm grateful for my life. And more blessed than anyone will ever understand. And Shawn Michael Stevens II, I love you. More than anything.
